heart to heart

So by now, u guys should probably know that i never success in standing in a relationship, so i decided to not have any relationship onwards until the right time comes which actually during my wedding year i guess. But now that its already become like this and ive mistakenly took the wrong road its hard for me to come back. im scares of hurting someones feelings because i always do so unintensionly <- dont really know how to spell this. but then someone advise me, (actually there are more than 1 someone) to enjoy the moment, u dont really have to think hard about the future like kalau ada jodoh then adelah. So  basically im currently living my life based on this statement. if its goes well then that someone will be my Jodoh. If not then he is not my Jodoh la kan?